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Forgiveness is a big thing, when we hear of people forgiving someone who has hurt them, we may be amazed that they could do that. What we forget is that it’s detrimental to us to hold on to the hurt, betrayal, anger, resentment and so on caused by the actions of this person/people.
Many times, that person may have forgotten what they did to you and be merrily leading their life without a second thought for you. Meanwhile you spend your days/months thinking of what they did and saying you’ll never forgive them – so who is the worse off?
You may say, well hold one, doesn’t forgiveness mean I condone what they did to me? How can I say that’s it’s OK they broke my heart, betrayed my trust, etc?! It may go against your idea of justice or self-worth to forgive others.
Forgiveness isn’t about saying what someone did to you is acceptable, it’s more about you letting go of that pain and anger and how it affects you every day. You don’t condone the action, you release and let go of the impact it has on you. In this way, it allows you to move forward with your life.
Another thing we don’t really think about is self-forgiveness which is just as important. You’ve hurt someone, emotionally or physically, you feel bad but you live with it.
Or you made a decision which caused your life to turn upside down – you’ve managed to come out the other end, but you deeply regret that decision. With hindsight everything is easier but at the time it seemed the right thing to do. What situations cause you to feel guilt or shame?
Self-forgiveness is difficult because it requires you to look within and examine your feelings of guilt, shame and personal failure – a hard task when we don’t like admitting we’ve done bad things. Or you may feel it will minimize the seriousness of your actions or even betray the memory of those you harmed.
But these emotions are very real energy stuck to your energy fields. Carrying the energy of guilt, revenge or shame will only bring you down and not help you mentally or emotionally. They have a negative impact on you at some level.
Without self-compassion and understanding, the burden of these emotions can become overwhelming, making it difficult to let go and move forward.
As with having a shower and physically cleaning your body, you need to clean your energy fields regularly of debilitating feelings and thoughts. See forgiveness as a way of eliminating that negative energy so that your mind and body can be filled with more light.
You can view forgiveness as saying “yes this happened, but I’m going to release the negative feelings which don’t help me by forgiving you/myself and this situation that occurred”.
It’s like when the sun is out, you feel more joyous, people smile more. See forgiveness in all its forms as letting the sun into your body, mind and energy fields. See it clearing out all negativity, allowing you to heal and spend your life in a more calm and positive way.
There are various actions you can take to forgive. Read my next blog to find out what they are and begin to heal yourself through the practice of forgiveness.
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